Dusty to Polished: Nandini
What sparks your urge to write, is it always the same?
It’s not always the same. There are some steady urges, some that come and go, and some that have evolved over time. In the beginning, when I was writing in middle school, I was writing to understand my emotions and to give it a voice— to not feel lonely. Writing has always made me feel quite secure and when something wasn’t going particularly well— in school, or in life— writing became my respite. A few days ago when I was going through my old poetry archives, I found a paper, on it was the poem I wrote in 9th grade after my grandfather passed away. I love that poem so much, it is very special to me— and something made me write it. There is a strange, innate (always-creeping-on-me) urge inside me to document. The space in time. Myself in it. My family, my people, my emotions.
Also, historically, I have believed, if I write a poem about something (and sometimes I am a cynic), it is going to make me happier because now there’s at least a poem written about it. That’s just how my brain works.
I think the crux of inspiration for me is that I have a lot to say. I always have. And writing helps me take all of that out of my brain and my heart, and onto the paper. Through stories, essays, poems— and half of the time, in my journals.
This passion has cemented itself in special ways. As I read more books and go out in the world, inspiration just keeps coming. The world, politics, the ever evolving culture, writing classrooms, my friends and contemporaries, or one of the niche interests I’ve picked up on the way. But mostly, these days, it’s politics. When I open my eyes really wide and look around, I know that there is a story everywhere. Especially in this city. In the discomfort of life and in the pretty parts. We just have to find the time to slow down and see it. I want to write good stories and good sentences and sometimes that’s just it.
Do you follow a specific process or set of steps when editing?
I don’t think I follow specific steps for anything in writing. Right now, being in an MFA, there is a lot that I am learning about writing and from so many people. So, there’s a lot I want to try before I stick to a process that works best for me. I haven’t found the one yet but I’m working on it.
Honestly, I have the bad habit of procrastinating editing— generally, I leave it for as long as I possibly can. Mostly, it’s circumstantial— I don’t have any rules. My spoken performance pieces are often edited really quick and while talking out loud. Written work is approached differently. I try to let my stories marinate for as many weeks as I can give. Then, when I approach it, it’s with a different lens and often, I come back to it as a different writer. It’s fun!
Writing Workshops have taught me a lot about editing. Through giving feedback to one another— and listening to insights of other cool people. During my first workshop, I was speaking to my friend, Sam, who told me there’s more to analyze in workshopping a piece you don’t enjoy reading, because it mirrors our own likes and dislikes. I loved that advice! I like finding faults and thinking of fixes. Not only for workshops, but also for other things I am reading. It teaches me about my patterns.
Within workshops, I get a wide-range of perspectives, which is awesome. Because writing can be a self-enclosed process, where many things come together but also escape me. So, when I am offered new nuances, questions and outlooks, it expands the possibilities in my mind – which may morph into a target for when I edit. One might read my work in ways I did not intend, or they may not enjoy it— that’s always super interesting to me. If people are willing to put in the effort to read what I write, I enjoy whatever questions they ask. The questions are some of my favorite parts. Even an offhanded remark could stick in my mind and reappear during editing.
How do you know when a piece is truly “done” and ready for publication?
Let me think about this. (LONG PAUSE). I don’t. I really don’t. Honestly, I have not published in some time. I believe my last publication was before I got to New York. Since starting my MFA— and this may seem counterproductive— I have thought even less about publications. Currently, I am enjoying the process of experimenting in my work, so the thought of publishing escapes me.
My zone, as an artist right now, is very much generative. I don’t want to give myself a deadline or an eventuality for the purpose of publishing. I am working on several simultaneous projects— I wrote 6 short stories this January which, after transcribing (because I try to write on paper), are left marinating in my folders. I’ll edit them later and then, eventually, think about publishing it. Right now, I don’t want to think about it— maybe as a way to protect myself from it.
When do I know my piece is ready? I don’t know, but I hope I learn eventually!
Before I submitted my story (about 10k words) to colleges for admissions, I went through maybe 7 rounds of editing (spread through 2 months). When I picked it up (after getting accepted), many months later, I was still crossing out my words and editing it. I still don’t think that story is done and ready to go for publication. Maybe soon!
For now, I continue writing with the hope and belief that, eventually, my stories will find themselves in their rightful place; where they will be treated with care and read with love.
How would you describe your writing process with an image?
Writing is so intuitive to me, so I let the words take me. Mostly, I don’t know what I’m getting into when I’m getting into it. “The center that I cannot find is known to my unconscious mind.” I live by this W.H. Auden quote. This image (also my wallpaper) embodies this quote wholly. My process is unhinged, emotional, sometimes singularly obsessed with the drive of documentation, dark and comedic. It may lead me to profound discoveries or to something simpler, more intimate— or something strange. I try to strive for this serenity while I am writing. But, also 50% of the time, I am pulling my hair trying to make a sentence work. Depends on the day!
What do you think makes the writing community at The New School unique?
There’s a lot that goes into it. It’s the professors and the tonality of the classes I have been in. The professors I have been taught by have always let the students take control of the classroom. They’ve advocated for us and truly just support us and want us to be good at what we do.
While I do think our classes can be more diverse, I find that the common goal is towards building a stronger, artistic community. And that’s common between the faculty and the students, which leads to a safe, heart-warming space. The fact we are studying radical pedagogies and can then see their implementation in the classroom in real-time, is at the foundation of our writing community. And I think the professors have a big hand in fostering that community.
The people are lovely! In our classroom, we are not just classmates but also contemporaries and colleagues. My professor, Cleyvis Natera, told me once about how she’s still workshopping with friends from her MFA. That inspired me to start a writing group with my friends from the program. Besides, I have super talented friends and it’s fun to be in class with them.
I like the freedom of being nice to each other and not being put against each other in a super competitive space. I think it’s common for a lot of MFAs to be like that, which can be bad for artists. So, I like that our classrooms are not rigid in their structure. Everyone’s in different stages of their life, doing their own thing and we get together to share that with each other – it’s awesome!
Bio: nandini / writer, artist, based in New York / elsewhere on @cabbageprint / forever grateful to have her words read.
This interview series is produced by Hijab Ahmed